Strange Enough For Love

After my first five-day field session at this large and prestigious company I am trying to focus on all the things I have learned, and not focus on all the things I have yet to learn. It is quite clear to me (and I suspect the Project Directors) that I am not ready for my own crew. The fact that I have never dug a feature, apart from one burial, is glaringly clear. Nor have I chosen where to located test units based on artifact concentrations or topography. Nor have I ever established a site grid with any sort of instrument such as brunton, transit, or total station. The list continues. I don't know that the PDs think that they have made a bad choice--they certainly aren't paying me much--so it doesn't seem that catastrophic that I be stuck with a more experienced crew chief for a few more sessions. I have learned a lot from the current head crew chief and would not mind being shuffled around crews to learn from others. On the promising end, I learned a huge amount this week; that can only help!

Our site sucked like only a 200m long diffuse lithic scatter can suck. After two 1x1m test units yielded no cultural deposits beyond the first level, we started laying in shovel tests from one end of the site to the other. These yielded the same results. Tough calcium carbonate rich sediments appeared within a few cm of the weak A horizon, and given the composition of the horizon it seemed clear that all the artifacts were deflating onto the caliche horizon as well as being moved by high winds (boy we had some of those!) and water erosion. Boring, boring, boring. Good thing is that I got tons of experience on the transit, laying in grid, taking elevations, and mapping. I think I almost understand how to use this particular instrument!

I was not prepared for the weather. It was warm in Albuquerque, but as soon as you got to the other side of the Sandias it was below freezing with 8 to 35mph winds that lasted all day. It warmed up to the 60s by the afternoon, but we were starting at 6am so it was cold. We are moving up the hill into an even higher saddle this week; it is only going to get worse. I packed way more clothes for the next session.

Logistically, everything seems to be working out. I have a $46/night motel 8 mins from the office. My per diem is $86 a day except for the last day ($11 only). I have about $350 in per diem to pay for $270 of hotel room that Steve and I are splitting. I have a hot plate and a mini George Forman so food costs are low, and I have had very little desire to go out because of the bone-numbing exhaustion--I went to sleep at 8pm the first two days! We only get paid drive time to the site on the first day and from the site on the last day, so days are long and I end up having to put in my own time to write notes and do some office work. However, I rarely take our federally mandated two 15min breaks, so it probably works itself out (I make sure the field techs get their breaks, however!).

I am looking forward to switching from a regular work-week to a 10 day work-week. It is hard to drive 3.5 hours home on Friday knowing that you are going to have to drive back Sunday afternoon. A Thursday to Sunday weekend would be better, even though I know I will be exhausted after 10 days of continuous field work.

In Session 2 my goal is to make more decisions regarding where to place units and how best to lay in the site grid efficiently. I really hope they don't force me to lead a crew independently anytime soon. There are a lot of techs starting work in Session 3 (university holiday is beginning then), so there will be more pressure on me to take a crew. I know a lot of grads and undies from ENMU have taken tech positions and are starting that session. I have learned a lot, but not enough!

As of 3/18/13 I have applied to 38 jobs this year. Ten were with private CRM firms, all of which were temporary or on-call positions. Only two of of those were at the crew-chief level. Out of those ten I have been offered one on-call field tech position (which I took, but no jobs have materialized). Out of those ten I have gotten two interviews, one for the position that I took, and one for a crew chief position for a data recovery project in New Mexico. I have not received the result of that interview. I have received four definite no's.

There have been many more federal jobs posted for which I have felt qualified. Apart from the continues open vacancy announcements (1 for the USFS, 1 for the BLM, and 1 for the USFS student programs), that leaves 25 individual positions. I applied to only two permanent positions (neither of which I was referred) and no GS09 positions (I have been told that I am qualified for that level, but I have never gotten even close to getting one, so I chose not to apply to any). I have Applied to 18 GS07 positions (some were co-listed with GS05 and GS06 positions) and have not been referred to a selecting official on 13 of those positions, meaning that I did not make the first cut. GS07 is generally crew chief level. I am still waiting to hear from the rest and have no expectation of getting referred. I have applied to two GS06 positions and have not been referred on either. There are either crew chief or field tech level. I have applied to 6 GS05 positions, and have not been referred on all of those. These are only for field techs, and below the level that I have worked at for the last two summers.

Of the three continuous open vacancy announcements, I have been refereed to the selecting officials on two GS05s and 1 GS07. These are all for 6 month temporary positions.

Basically, I am not getting anywhere. I have been told repeatedly that I have almost no chance of getting hired with the feds as a non-student, and yet I just keep applying like something is going to change.

There was a small blizzard last night, enough to shut down the roads, and one of my cats vomited bile all night. The vet was very helpful over the phone, and Charm seems better now, but he is just not right. Tomorrow will be the fourth time I have taken him to the vet this year. He has had a bout of cystitis, and now the vomiting. At least one of the vets thinks the conditions are related and has suggested blood work. That is on top of an X-ray, two urinalyses, 2 injections, and 2 prescriptions, all administered this year.

If I had not been here observing his behavior daily, he could have gone for days without anyone knowing he was sick. It is becoming clear, now that my cats are 9 and 10, I can't just leave them in the care of a friend who drops in 3 times a week. This drastically restricts the jobs I can take, by season or by project. They would have to be jobs with hotel rooms that accepts pets, short jobs that happen to occurs when I could impose on my friends, or jobs in places where I could get an apartment. Plus, I travel a lot, mostly back to Florida. This is going to make my life very difficult.

When I got my cats 10 years ago, I didn't know I would be doing CRM archaeology, or that it would require so much travel. They have been such a joy and a pleasure, and it makes me feel sick to resent them now. I won't get rid of them, but I won't be taking any remote and exciting jobs, joining the peace corp, or trekking in Nepal, either.

These last two months have been rough. All night vomiting, peeing, administering medication twice a day, having to set up a separate room for Charm and listing to him cry to get out all night. It's starting to grind my nerves. I know pets are not children, but it doesn't matter if you have a distressed and vomiting child or cat: you are going to be up all night (and, if you are able to ignore a distressed animal, you are not fit to raise children).

I do love my cats, but they may be my last pets.

I had to cancel the backpacking trip in April. My Achilles are noncooperational, and will be for a few months. According to a reading of the ultrasound, I have mild tendinosis in the right, moderate tendinosis in the left, and small bone spurs growing from both calcanei.  All I can do for now is go heavy on the cross training, increase hiking slowly, and keep doing the eccentrics. The physical therapy takes about a half-hour a day; more on the days that I hike.  Right this instant, I can't do survey.  I can do excavation.  If things go as planned, I should be able to hike 6 miles by the middle of March.  Maybe I could do survey then, but I am pretty sure I won't.  Doctor was good enough to tell me that this was not a career-ender, but I should make hiking a priority and give up any other exercise that could aggravate my Achilles.  No more running, and I probably can't ride for a long while (or maybe I could ride without stirrups?).  Regardless, the new company is going to call me before the end of March, and I am going to have to tell them I can't work.  This sucks tremendously.  In terms of later work, I have gotten a few rejections from the government lately, but I did get one referral through the continuous open announcement for a not to exceed GS07 in North Texas.  I don't really want to work in North Texas, but I cam going to call the archaeologist and see what the work entails.  They seem to be hiring pretty early, so I assume that their funding is set and will not be affected by the sequester.  Consequently, it may the the only federal job I have any chance of getting.

Why did I decide to become an archaeologist? Years of education to become proficient at NHPA compliance, which means nothing in a world with sequesters and without legislation. I should have been a doctor, or an agronomist, or something useful. Or maybe have joined the military so I could get vet pref, or even better, figured out that archaeology was what I wanted to to at 18, and stated doing CRM so I wouldn't find myself in this hopeless limbo at 31.